Filed under: Alkaiser, doubts, heartache, Mazikeen, reflection, Silvermoon
This small entry is hastily scratched below the one above it, the penmanship is much shakier than usual, as if the writer was using a great deal of control and force over the quill. A few wet dots splatter here and there on the page, wrinkling the paper slightly while leaving watermarks.
I don’t know how to think, speak, or feel anymore. I should be happy for them, right? I should be happy that they both found what they’ve wanted this whole time. They’re my friends, aren’t they? I should be happy for them.
I should be happy for them.
But I’m not.
Every time I look at either of them, my stomach churns and I feel sick and nauseated. I’m not happy for them like I’m supposed to be. I’m angry and hurt. I feel like screaming, crying, exploding. I feel like I’m barely holding myself back from doing something I know I’ll regret. I feel betrayed. I hate feeling this way.
I don’t know who I can talk to… and whether or not I’ll be able to talk about it at all. I’m sick of being the mute victim.
I wish everything just went back to the way they were originally.
An amorous atmosphere has swept both the Horde and the Alliance, it seems. A small errand has led many in the Silverguard to come across very beautiful gowns. Some of us girls came up with the idea to have a small ball to celebrate the occasion, and said party happened tonight.
Poor Zaliron. Poor Mazikeen. The party wasn’t as nice for some of us as most had hoped.
Ras’Ar and I’ve been growing closer lately, and I’m not quite sure what I should make of it… I don’t dislike his company, but it’s just… I don’t know.
Today’s meeting was rather… eventful. It was apparently a promotion ceremony. In the Arcane house, Kiros and I were promoted. I don’t know if I should be happy or not. I sure don’t feel strong enough to uphold the title, but I guess I’ll have to see now, won’t I? Not soon after I was given the new title, a human Paladin decided to crash the ‘fun’. Jadael was severely injured, but his wounds seem as if they’ll heal quickly.
I have the strangest feeling something odd’s going on and I’m not sure I like this feeling.
The page seems to have a rather large entry at the top, stretching down to the bottom. The text, however, is completely unreadable due to the enormous amounts of scratch-outs through the body of the text. Few words can be made out from the obscured entry: Ras’Ar, bar, orc, drinking contest.
Ras’Ar Dawnstrider = JERK! JERKJERKJERK!
…but I guess I am glad he got some of his vision back. I’ll ask the elders on other methods to repair the vision in his other eye when I can. I’ve tried almost everything – nothing works!
